Raye's Journey

I seem to always enjoy writing during a person's journey, and even this opening paragraph was written on a swaying bus with my phone.

The wild and unrestrained Liu Ling once said, "Traveling without a trace, living without a home, using the earth as a seat and the sky as a cover, going wherever I please." To use the earth as a seat and the sky as a cover, one must have a grand imagination to treat the universe as one's backdrop.

The saying "hiding in a small building to become one, regardless of spring, summer, autumn, and winter" always feels somewhat out of place to me. Instead, it is on the swaying subway and bus, beside the bustling park grass, that I can inspire my most uninhibited creativity and write some insignificant words.

It has been more than two months since I last picked up my pen. During this hiatus, unless I find a reason, I just feel that time is insufficient, with too many things needing my attention. Perhaps I also struggle to settle down and organize the scattered flomo into a long article.

Being overly immersed in words and writing is not particularly good in my view; one must have a concrete life—going out, downstairs, throwing away trash, seeing flowers and plants, meeting a few friends, enjoying the breeze, dancing in the wind, and returning with a song; otherwise, one risks becoming broken.

But after drifting for a long time, one must have some roots to settle down. This gives me a sense of urgency; it is time to write some words to reflect on life. If I had to summarize what has happened in the past two months in one sentence, Su Zi's "People have joys and sorrows, separations and reunions" could not be more fitting.

This is the preface to this week's report (Hey, this doesn't even count as a weekly report, right? /doge)

Departure#

Those chats and conversations are sealed in memory, perhaps to be recalled inadvertently at some moment in the future. The deep collisions of souls, along with encouragement and care, always have guides telling me, "Yes, your guesses are not wrong," when I randomly speculate about this world.

— Excerpt from my favorite line in Cloris's resignation post.

The first time I met Cloris was during a brain-teasing murder mystery game. Refer to Weekly Report #14 Typhoon Day, Murder Mystery, and Rainbow. It was perhaps a coincidence and fate; at that time, I had just met Wenjie and was temporarily pulled in to play "The Dead Awaken in the Illusion Night." I didn't realize how terrifying this game was until I experienced nearly 6 or 7 hours of intense reasoning, and my CPU crashed. But that's another story.

As soon as I was added to the group, I saw a profile picture identical to mine—Prince Boji from "Ranking of Kings." The DM even joked in the group that they couldn't tell us apart, haha. Of course, these two profile pictures would later be teased by friends countless times, but that's another story.

We both enjoy watching anime, reading, and participating in book clubs. By chance, we discovered that we both love playing indie games! That day in the cafeteria, we talked for a long time about indie games: "Cocoon," "Slay the Spire," "Grils," "The Song of Babel," "Evil Dead," "Don't Starve," and "Oxygen Not Included."

I had never found someone who loved indie games as much as I do, and I felt an instant connection.

In addition to that, she has many other labels:

She enjoys participating in public welfare, exploring the unknown, loves mathematics, board games, playing indie games, dreams of becoming an indie game developer, enjoys reading, discussing history, contemplating the future, and the development of technology.

The world is vast, filled with unknown territories. She seems like a little girl collecting seashells, carefully selecting and gathering the shells she desires, observing their patterns, pondering their formation, and dreaming of one day creating a perfect shell.

Last Thursday, when I saw her resignation post, I felt a bit regretful. Counting it up, although we had known each other for less than a year, it felt like we were already familiar. I often wondered how I would write my resignation post if that day really came. I want to thank many people; people are never isolated; they are the sum of social relationships.

And she did just that. Looking at so many names, some are mutual friends, but many are partners she met after coming to Shenzhen. It takes a long time for people to learn to be grateful; the colors of everything, the enthusiasm of friends, are all luxurious gifts from the heavens.

Best wishes~!

Reunion#

For two consecutive months, the book club has basically held a meeting every weekend. Many book lovers from inside and outside the company actively signed up to share, even making me feel that the pace was too fast, and I couldn't keep up with the reading.

Exploring the legal status of ancient women through the death of Princess Lanling of the Northern Wei Dynasty in "The Death of the Princess";

Following Mr. Qian's footsteps, contemplating the political systems of the Han, Tang, Song, Ming, and Qing dynasties in "The Political Gains and Losses of Chinese Dynasties";

Seven pilgrims journeying to the planet Hyperion, sharing their stories with the lark and uncovering the truth behind them in "Hyperion";

Discussing existentialism starting from the childhood anime classic EVA, debating whether humanity should be completed in "EVA and Existentialism";

And detailed explanations of game planning work in "Game Dream Makers," Harvard's justice course "Justice," and "Technological Traps";

Although I didn't attend every session, I generally went when I was interested and had time. However, as I attended more sessions, I gradually felt some confusion. While having many people sign up to share is good, sometimes the form outweighs the quality, and the returns per unit time actually decrease.

I used to really enjoy the atmosphere of book clubs. After each session, I always felt a kind of hangover. This feeling is not brought on by external stimuli like alcohol; that kind of external shock is somewhat uncomfortable. It's a kind of spiritual hangover.

It echoes in my mind, prompting me to savor and appreciate the inspiration that comes from the collision of thoughts with others.

More importantly, the book club reflects how a person reads and discusses books. If it is merely a pile of content from the book, then having another person present it would yield no different results.

The week before last (I can't even remember the exact day since it has been too long), I attended a sharing session on "Ulysses." I initially had high expectations for this book, as few dare to share stream-of-consciousness works, and the author can be compared to Woolf.

Unfortunately, the presenter seemed to have no intention of sharing their experience of reading the book and merely introduced its related content, which left me somewhat disappointed.

Afterward, I communicated with them, and their reason was surprisingly grandiose, saying, "My experience reading this book is very private; I can't articulate it or know how to express it." Then why did I come to listen to you talk about it? tmd /doge.

Perhaps not every book club session is worth attending, and not every book has its sharing value. Focusing on one's reading experience is the best.

Joy#

On July 3rd, it marked my third anniversary at the company, and I wrote this:

Today I realized that I have been with my company for three full years.

I like what Chen Danqing once said, "You think you know yourself?" Without these external reminders, you wouldn't even realize how fast time flies. One moment, it feels like you're still introducing yourself, and the next, you're already preparing reporting materials.

If I count the time spent interning, I have been in Shenzhen for four years. I just finished my journey in Karamay in April 2020 and headed south to Shenzhen alone in May. I still remember how hot the sun was that day, so much so that when I later read about Li Deshan's first visit to Guangzhou in "Lychee of Chang'an," where he described sweating profusely as if ants were crawling all over him, it felt all too real.

Fortunately, over the past three years, aside from focusing on my job, I have managed to do a few things during my leisure time: I made the headlines of Le Wen three times, hoping that my heartfelt answers could help many people and that I could reach a thousand likes this year; I persisted in the blue envelope activity for a year, writing 11 letters to share feelings with left-behind children far away, and received commemorative gifts from the charity; I developed a love for playing badminton, breaking many 65 strings; I restarted my blog last year, accumulating over 50 articles; I hope to exceed 2000 hours of reading on WeChat this year; I met a large group of book-loving friends and shared three reading sessions, and I plan to share "The Republic" next; I took up photography, starting to pay attention to every blade of grass and tree around me; and there are many more things I want to do...

Finally, let me conclude with my blog signature: "While I am still young and unburdened, let me indulge in a little wildness."

Sorrow#

As I get to know more friends, it is inevitable that although many people I know are very friendly, there are always a few bad apples that spoil the soup of life. Every time this happens, I think of a line from "Looking Up at the Moon Twenty-Nine Times":

We really don't need so many friends; some people are just a burden to meet.

Moreover, the time spent chatting in WeChat groups has taken up too much of my time. As I participate in more activities and meet more people, combined with my ENFJ personality, I increasingly enjoy debating with others. In the book club, I feel that debate is a natural thing, not like the trolls online; everyone expresses their thoughts rationally, so I really enjoy this atmosphere.

However, it is inevitable that there are various provocations, gender conflicts, and the thing I dislike the most is when people casually mock domestic men, saying things like "When negotiating with foreign clients, they all come from the gym," and similar statements that imply the grass is greener on the other side. It really leaves one speechless.

After all, there are always those who pursue so-called cognitive awakening, spouting about strange theories and concepts, having read a couple of marketing articles, and still not grasping the most basic concepts of "Tao Te Ching." They can't even clarify the fundamental ideas of a book but still want to generalize and amplify everything. For these people, I choose to avoid them.

Additionally, here are some thoughts and flomo records of rebuttals.

Rebuttal to the claim that "writing about daily life is uninteresting"#

I don't know why, but I've recently become obsessed with debating viewpoints in WeChat groups. Among them, there are certainly things I find problematic, such as the saying that "writing should not be flat." Someone said, "Look at how 'Dream of the Red Chamber' writes about daily life; can you read it?" and even had others nodding in agreement.

So I couldn't help but respond. Books like "My Mother Works as a Cleaner" and "I Deliver Packages in Beijing," which record daily life, are they also unreadable? For us, these daily experiences may seem ordinary, but they provide us with a different experience, showing us that even in so-called mundane lives, there are people striving to live, and life is not absurd.

Therefore, I have always opposed the idea of dismissing something outright. This is certainly easy and lazy thinking, but I must say that categorizing discussions is essential. In mathematics, you must continually categorize and eliminate possibilities. As Holmes said, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. But the key is to exhaust all possibilities, rather than simply thinking it's either A or B, black or white, life or death. Life is not that simple; it cannot be summarized in one sentence.

Thoughts on whether e-books will become mainstream#

I must summarize why I believe e-books will become mainstream while typing away.

What is the role of books? Books are the ladder of human civilization's progress. The flourishing of the Western Renaissance was largely due to the Gutenberg printing press, which greatly facilitated the spread of knowledge and broke the church's monopoly on knowledge. From this perspective, the birth and rapid dissemination of printed books have their inevitability and historical mission.

However, as Marx said, when the development of productive forces reaches a point where existing production relations cannot adapt, those relations become obstacles to further development. Printed books, as carriers of human civilization, follow a similar pattern. While they greatly promote the dissemination of human civilization, that civilization itself is constantly sedimenting. The visible printed book has evolved from a few pages of pamphlets to increasingly thick volumes. At this point, the form of printed books can no longer bear the achievements of human civilization, let alone the costs of querying, printing, storage, and dissemination.

The rest of the arguments about printed books feeling better, reading faster, and personal preferences are merely hobbies of niche groups (I won't delve into whether those who prefer printed books are truly sincere in their love for them /manual dog head). After all, in the 21st century, some still cling to the belief in monarchy, but this ultimately cannot prevent democracy from becoming mainstream. E-books completely replacing printed books is merely a matter of time.

Rebuttal to the claim that "someone thinks 'The Signal and the Noise' is the best book of 2023"#

At first glance, I wasn't very interested in "The Signal and the Noise" because I saw that it was recommended by foreign authors and various lists, which made me think of it as a book with too many buffs stacked on it. In my view, every reason could be a justification for not reading it.

However, I still took the time to read it because one cannot evaluate without reading. I spent about two hours quickly flipping through it. I must say the author's language is quite verbose, and many of the points seem superficial, such as the need to continually gather information, the difference between prediction and prophecy, and model overfitting.

For those who have not encountered these theories, it may indeed be worth a read, but I believe there are better popular science books that can serve as alternatives.

Having said all this about the book, I still want to recommend it because after quickly finishing it, I couldn't help but reflect on its content, especially regarding the author's approach to Texas.

What is signal, and what is noise? The author does not provide a complete definition at the beginning, which made me search for a long time before finally uncovering his hidden insight: "Signal is the representation of the truth behind statistical or predictive problems."

I accept this definition because it reminds me of eigenvectors (also called feature vectors), which can be fitted in data statistics. Noise, which the author refers to as "random models easily mistaken for signals," seems reasonable to me. If one understands qualitative and semi-quantitative physical analysis, they will know that physicists sometimes prefer to sacrifice accuracy to find a fitting curve that meets the characteristics.

If the author had presented these two definitions directly and emphasized them, I believe the book's rating could have been higher.

Finally, the author emphasizes that "this book is about prediction, not how to predict." What the author can provide is to sort out and identify signals and noise from various events that have occurred or may occur (well, he doesn't do this particularly well either). Therefore, this book requires you to think for yourself; the author has not given you much help, at most providing some cases for consideration.

Rebuttal to the claim that "someone thinks San Mao's quote about reading is nonsense"#

"Reading more will naturally change your appearance. Many times, you may think that many of the books you have read have become a fleeting cloud, no longer remembered, but in fact, they are still latent. In your temperament, in your speech, in your boundless mind. Of course, they can also be revealed in life and writing."

To be honest, I have always liked this quote from San Mao, but last time someone in the group said it was nonsense and claimed that studying a major you didn't like in college was a waste.

I strongly oppose this kind of argument based solely on emotional complaints.

I remember the first book I encountered was a set of comic books, but I have long forgotten their content. Do you think that has any significance? Indeed not, but would I be somewhat different now if I hadn't read that set of books? I don't know. But I want to believe that there is a difference; perhaps that is a kind of meaning.

Where does meaning lie? Meaning only exists in that moment; in that moment, you see it, but then it passes.

Rebuttal to the so-called evaluation of Kang Youwei#

There are always people who like to show off, saying things like, "When looking at historical figures, don't just focus on their private matters, but look at their xxxxx," which can all become template phrases.

My evaluation of Kang Youwei:

1. The viewpoint in that short video is one-sided; this is undeniable, as it deliberately only mentions that aspect.

2. Evaluating Kang Youwei is complex and involves multiple perspectives (thoughts/academics/politics/class/practical actions/positions at different ages, etc.). From the perspective of Marxist materialist historical view, his early series of propositions, such as reform ideas, developing industry, and constitutional monarchy, were progressive at that time. However, people are always limited by their class; colloquially, "the butt determines the brain." He fundamentally represents the scholar-official landlord class and is a monarchist. Therefore, his subsequent actions, such as plotting to assassinate Sun Yat-sen and advocating for restoration, are regressive, leading to him being criticized as a remnant of feudalism. His lifestyle issues have also been criticized, which is not surprising.

3. Finally, at least from my most basic perspective, I do not deny his contributions, but I have no good feelings toward him.

Rebuttal to the claim that "the so-called Marxist materialist historical view is circular reasoning"#

I really can't believe it. A certain "Teacher Tian" in the group only knows how to question endlessly. Why don't you say where you think it's wrong?

Regarding the rebuttal of Marxist materialist historical view being "circular reasoning":

First, you need to distinguish what circular reasoning is. An example of circular reasoning is, "I speak the truth because I am honest," and "Because I am honest, I speak the truth." The essence of circular reasoning is that it does not include independent evidence to support it, while the materialist historical view is clearly not that simple.

Now, let's look at what you said:

1. "How does he represent the interests of big landlords?" He certainly represents the interests of big landlords. This is derived from his words, actions, and propositions at that time. This is fundamentally different from revolutionary party members. The term "big landlord" is merely a label, but you cannot deny that his class and the interest group he represents are limited and different from other groups.

2. "How is it historical regression?" Perhaps I didn't express it clearly. After the success of the Xinhai Revolution, democracy had become the mainstream consensus of society at that time, and restoration was impossible. However, he still advocated for restoration and plotted against revolutionaries, which contradicts the mainstream thought of the time. You can't deny this, can you? Isn't this enough to illustrate that it is historical regression? (You don't need to focus on the outcome of the restoration because it was bound to fail). It's like if you wanted to return to a feudal monarchy today; you would obviously be regressing in history. You don't need to wait for a decade to see the outcome to prove this point.

3. "Specifically analyze constitutional monarchy and restoration; why can't China do it?" This is another topic that needs to be discussed before the Xinhai Revolution. In the era of significant changes in the late Qing Dynasty, every ideology has its value, which I do not deny. At this time, his propositions can also be affirmed from the perspective of Marxist materialist historical view. As for why China can't do it, it can only be said that the late Qing Dynasty brought it upon themselves.

Thoughts on which is greater, tragedy or comedy#

The debate over which is greater, tragedy or comedy, has long been settled, and I cannot refute it. However, I do not like to follow the crowd. Almost everyone acknowledges that the core of comedy is tragedy and that tragedy is the greatest. Otherwise, why would Zweig write "The Great Tragedy" for Scott's team? There are countless examples to cite.

But I still want to think that although tragedy is so great, I believe the creator's original intention is not necessarily to write tragedy for the sake of writing tragedy. It must begin with a comedic presentation, then be destroyed, and then presented again in a comedic way, and so on. Conversely, why can't it start with a tragic presentation and then be redeemed by the soul of comedy? It can only be said that the human condition is fundamentally sorrowful, and people are unwilling to believe in a beautiful ending. Otherwise, why does Confucius always say, "When the Dao is not followed, I float on the sea"? But did he really do it? Not necessarily. "The turbulent world is all around, but who can change it?" Isn't that tragic enough? Isn't that enough to make one heartbroken? Yet Confucius still says, "When the world has the Dao, I will not change it." This "wandering like a lost dog" old man still performs a comedy unique to his time of chaos.

The greatest comedy must be Chaplin's "Modern Times." Of course, one could say that the core of this comedy also reflects the tragedy of workers in the capitalist era. However, in this great work, it still allows the audience to regain confidence in life amid the darkness of economic depression. Chaplin portrays reality in exaggeration and absurdity, bringing hope and strength through mockery and humor.

Even Zweig, whom I mentioned at the beginning, recounts the tragedy of Scott's failed expedition to the South Pole. Is the purpose not to discourage future generations from exploring the mysteries of the Earth's glaciers? Not necessarily. This great tragedy continuously inspires a group of people who want to traverse the vast, boundless snowfields, witness the unique polar day and night, and have their country's flag forever stand at the South Pole. No one ever stops their steps because of tragedy.

Ultimately, I cannot refute the debate between tragedy and comedy, but I believe these two are inseparable. "I will make it a fusion: let us call it a tragicomedy. I do not think it is appropriate to call a play that has both kings and deities a drama. What do you think? Since there are also slaves in this play, I will call it a tragicomedy."

Some Random Notes#

I turned off the loudly running faucet, set the brush and clean cloth aside to dry, wiped my damp palms, and then wiped away a drop of sweat from the corner of my eye. I sat down and picked up my phone to record my thoughts during this cleaning session.

My sleep isn't very good; I occasionally experience insomnia, and my biological clock is quite fixed. After waking from a nap, I feel a sense of loss. A beam of light shines through a corner of the half-drawn curtains, and at this moment, I realize that the weather outside is quite nice. Seemingly emboldened by the good wind and good day, I began this major cleaning.

In the past, I would do some simple cleaning every weekend. I cannot reach the realm of "There is originally nothing; where does the dust come from?" written by the Sixth Patriarch Huineng. On my desk are books like "Unity of the North and South," "Women Are a Beam of Light," and "Why Do We Need Libraries?" which I have not yet finished reading. The camera in my bag, the Xbox games, the monitor, and the Switch that has gathered dust for a long time—each of these was once something I coveted. I remember receiving them, all packed in shiny new boxes, bringing me either joy, contemplation, or fun. It's hard to imagine how my life would be without them. Perhaps the saying "Always keep wiping, lest dust settles" by Shenxiu is the most accurate portrayal of our lives.

As I wiped the tiles, I suddenly realized that the color of the tiles was originally so pure and flawless; it had only lost its original color due to the accumulation of dirt. Those who have never seen the original white color might think that the current color is normal. When one's eyes are clouded, everything appears tinted. I vigorously scrubbed away the dirt in the corners, cursing myself for being oblivious every day. Fortunately, I don't care about time or how much water I use; I just want to complete the work I set out to do. The meaning of solitude is reflected here, without too many concerns. Rushing or leaving things half-done is also acceptable. Thinking of this, the pressure eased significantly.

I once saw an article on the One App that quoted a line:

"I only have these abilities: tidying up the house, reading a few books, and writing some unimportant words. I live my days in this small world, content with myself, and I have exhausted all my energy."

Exhausting all my energy is not quite the case, but doing something is always enjoyable. Cheers to life, drink up, and enjoy!